If your mind wanders and starts to get into "spectatoring" mode—becoming goal-directed or self-conscious—simply notice that without judgment, letting those thoughts be exactly as they are while you bring your attention back to the senses. One of the most important lessons for good sex and also good relationships, in general, is to learn how to more fully tolerate our feelings, other people's feelings, and our feelings about other people's feelings. Learn to embrace your unique erotic fingerprint—whatever it is. Stay connected to your partner. But another way to look at this is that there is a risk to not taking risks. Tolerate emotions and embrace the transformative nature of sex.
Cassandra. Age: 26.
Enjoy the journey without concern about the destination.
Aleena. Age: 23.
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Look into your partner's eyes and breathe with your partner while sitting silently. Enjoy the journey without concern about the destination. Our editors have independently chosen the products listed on this page. Tolerate emotions and embrace the transformative nature of sex.